Sleep Chatter

My hubby is a famous sleep talker. Well, within our little Facebook circle. I’ve been told by countless people that they look forward to my posts which script out the interactions between Matt and I usually in the early moments after Matt falls asleep. In fact, I’ve had two messages from people making sure they didn’t miss one.

It’s amazing how easily he just spews out words. They don’t sound mumbled and quiet, just the opposite. One of my favorites of all time was a one-liner Matt yelled out while he napped on the couch: “You never have a Crayola when you need one!”

It takes a lot of energy to stifle my laughter.

Here are some recent examples of Matt’s entertaining craziness that made their way onto Facebook.

Sleeptalk Status #3 Sleeptalk Status #2 Sleeptalk Status #1

Last night a friend told me about an app which records sleep talking. It senses sound all night long, but only records moments where the sound picks up. You’ll wake up to like 12 clips of tossing and turning or coughing or weird snoring…and perhaps a bit of chatter.

I just KNEW I had to download it.

Well it turns out that I’ve gotten so used to conversing with Matt while he’s sleep talking (to keep the weirdness going), that now I’m doing it in my sleep without even knowing it.

So enjoy this nice little recording of Matt and I. I’ll periodically alert you to new ones, if they come along, and dear goodness I hope they do.

Matt: “No! The whole thing untraveled!”
Haley: “What thing?”
Matt (in despair): “NNooooo”
Matt: “It was just unraveling right before our eyes.”
Haley: “Where is it?”
Matt: “It was a piece of…it was wound up on this piece of…furniture.”

Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble

I have this vision of a clean but gently broken-in kitchen, a breeze though an open window rustling the dish towels and a pie, baked up in an Americana Pyrex dish, perched on a sill to cool. All is simple, tidy and smells like heaven. I’d be off somewhere gardening in the shade, reading a book or spreading corn out for the hens.

But dammit it’s like 100 degrees in my house and everywhere I go I’m sweating like a pig. I’m trying desperately to walk without my thighs sticking together. I keep dropping my garden shovel to swat away spiders with little shrieks of terror every 5 minutes and the heat makes reading outside impossible unless “reading” really means “napping”. So why on God’s green earth would I want to heat up a big metal box to 375 degrees within my 989 square foot un-air conditioned home? Why?!

This is why. IMG_4326 IMG_4300

This crumble is worth it. It’s worth realizing its hotter inside your house than outside. It’s worth an extra trip to the store if you don’t have rhubarb. It’s worth the red fruit stained blob on your floor. It’s worth the 40 – 50 minute baking time. It’s worth the sweat that comes with opening and reopening the sweltering hot box to check to see if it’s done.

IMG_4293 IMG_4295 IMG_4297 IMG_4302 IMG_4319As I peered down into this crumble, anxiously trying a bite after it had cool for about…eehhhh like 5 seconds, I just closed my eyes and there I was. Standing in that cottage kitchen, the dishes washed, the laundry folded, the garden blooming, the chickens clucking, a pleasant breeze and the sound of life off in the distance.

BANG BANG RRRRROOOAAAARRR BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP!!!!!

That would be the sound of our road being torn out and re-paved this week, snapping me oh so pleasantly back into reality. The rumbling of said construction causes every dish in the house to vibrate. Oh and I haven’t actually done the dishes, there is a layer of crusty something on the counter that will have to scraped off, the mile-high stack of dirty clothes are on the floor in my room, the chickens are pecking each other and my thighs are still stuck together.

I think I’ll just get a bowl of this and go sit in a corner.

Strawberry-Rhubarb Crumble – Smittenkitchen.com

Yields 6 to 8 servings.

For the topping:
1 1/3 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
3 tablespoons sugar
3 tablespoons Demerara sugar (or turbinado sugar aka Sugar in the Raw)
Zest of one lemon
1/4 pound (1 stick or 4 ounces) unsalted butter, melted

For the filling:
1 1/2 cups rhubarb, chopped into 1-inch pieces
1 quart strawberries plus a few extras, hulled, quartered
Juice of one lemon
1/2 cup sugar
3 to 4 tablespoons cornstarch
Pinch of salt

1. Heat oven to 375°F. Prepare topping: In a mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder, sugars and lemon zest and add the melted butter. Mix until small and large clumps form. Refrigerate until needed.

2. Prepare filling: Toss rhubarb, strawberries, lemon juice, sugar, cornstarch and a pinch of salt in a 9-inch deep-dish pie plate. (I used an oval dish this time, because they fit better in the bottom of a shopping bag.)

3. Remove topping from refrigerator and cover fruit thickly and evenly with topping. Place pie plate on a (foil-lined, if you really want to think ahead) baking sheet, and bake until crumble topping is golden brown in places and fruit is bubbling beneath, about 40 to 50 minutes.

/Cra’ft-i-tis’/

“{Craftitis; Definition: A temporary (hopefully) mental dysfunction marked by hysteria and emotional sensitivity – specifically caused by sewing and/or crafting more than 10 hours in a day, for several days. }  ;  Symptoms include but are not limited to: Unkept appearance, misplacement of items – such as Brita water filter being placed in the pantry, Murmurings about zippers, interfacing and seam-ripping, hastily thrown supplies on every available surface, hot-glue burns on fingers and wearing pajamas all day. ;  Exacerbating factors: 1. Sewing for more than 5 straight hours. 2. Over-consumption of coffee, 3. Not cleaning up after oneself. ; Prognosis and treatment: Patient will be fine once removed from the house. A nap and Thai food will speed recovery. With each occurrence, Craftitis develops more quickly and patients are especially susceptible during the holiday months.”