Sigh.

Last week was a good week.

I can’t find words to adequately express my deep thanks for all the loving comments and supportive gestures I received this last week. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You took me seriously, laughed when I needed to hear a laugh and shared your precious pet stories. I’m blessed to have heard them and blessed that you listened to mine.

Last Friday, when all this “went down” I thought, “Wow, God’s timing sucks.” I had a busy, busy week ahead of me and was incredibly frustrated by the  emotion-sucking events that had occurred. That might have been the stupidest thing in the world to think. Honestly. I was headed to a camp I have gone to for years, with a community of people who have known and loved me for years. Why didn’t I assume that would be the best place for me?

It was when I felt shock and awe at being surrounded by grace and support that I realized, I have become far too dependent on myself. I don’t really give my friends a chance to help me. My first instinct when I’m in pain is to hide. I want to crawl under the covers and cry. I want my husband around, but beyond that…get away. That’s a sad, sad place to be. Being forced to leave home and being vulnerable with my pain, was so good for me.

And yes, I will get more chickens. When I mentioned the “maybe I shouldn’t have chickens, I get too attached” thing to a good friend, she simply said, “What kind of life would that be for you? Yeah sure, hide all your vulnerabilities so you don’t have to feel pain…but when you do that you will shut out your joys as well.”

Tru dat. Chicks it is.

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3 thoughts on “Sigh.

  1. If I ever had pain I would say I knew you were right, but as it’s pure conjecture for me, since I’ve figured out how to isolate myself from everything and everyone that might hurt me I really can’t say…

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