No. No. No.

I’ve been really good. I haven’t blasted a single food product that I think is terrible for human beings on this blog, though I think about it often. But I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this in the store yesterday. I was attracted to it because it was a jar of neon green goop…as I got closer…”Guacamole”.

Ew. THIS IS NOT GUACAMOLE!

Here is the ingredient list, note how I have highlight the only place where avocado is actually listed:

“Water, Canola Oil, Food Starch Modified, Concentrated Crushed Tomatoes, Maltodextrin, and contains 2% or less of: Avocado Powder, Dehydrated Onion, Jalapeno Pepper Powder, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Garlic Powder, Dehydrated Red Bell Pepper, Spices, Whey Protein Concentrate, Salt, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Corn Syrup Solids, Caramel Color, Soy Sauce (Naturally Fermented Wheat and Soybeans, Salt, Maltodextrin, Caramel Color), Citric Acid, Lemon Juice Concentrate, Lemon Juice Solids, Sugar, Glucono-Delta-Lactone, Xanthan Gum, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, DATEM, Lactic Acid, Monosodium Glutamate, Yellow #5 & Blue #1″

What? That is nasty. Here is a better, simple option for you:

Perfect Guacamole

Easy Guacamole

2 avocados

1 small onion, finely chopped

1 clove garlic, minced

1 ripe tomato, chopped

1 lime, juiced

salt and pepper to taste

There are a thousand other ways to fancy up guacamole. One of my favorites is Alton Brown’s version. So good! But I wanted to provide a simple recipe because I figure people who grab that jar of neon green goop are looking for something quick.

Please please, if you want guac and you’re thinking about picking up some of that jarred death…just tell me and I will help you chop whatever you need to chop in order to NOT consume that crapiness.

Soap box speech ending in 3…2…1.

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11 thoughts on “No. No. No.

    • Hahaha. Seriously. We know it involves lots of powder, made to taste like vegetables…and probably a huge oily vat of some kind. Sick…don’t feed this to your kid okay?

  1. I don’t know why people buy that type of crap! If the ingredient isn’t listed in the first three then I
    believe the product should be named Faux Food. Thanks Haley for bringing this to our attention. Guacamole is sooo easy to make, and the taste is beyond compare.

  2. You’re so cute, Haley. You are also absolutely right. Simple is best. Fast is awesome, too, especially for the person leading a super busy lifestyle. But using a full schedule as an excuse to consume garbage (at least, it might as well be) leads to no good! NO. GOOD. I must admit I’m guilty of going the quick route from time to time (burgers, burritos, pizza, and other fast food out), but with things that come in cans, I don’t go there. I would rather not eat guacamole at all than settle for the green goop! God made the food our bodies are meant to consume the way he did for a reason! If we can chop, mince, slice, sautee, boil, broil, BBQ, or otherwise cook up those yummy foods in under 20 minutes, why not? I’m really getting going on preparing double batches of meals at dinner time as I’m able so I can pack up extras in a freezer bag for another meal when I won’t have time to cook. I just thaw the meal and heat up the food! By the way, the crock pot is my new best friend in the kitchen. I can just throw in all fresh ingredients, set that puppy on low while I’m at work all day, and BAM! Dinner is practically ready when I get home! I just make some rice, noodles, biscuits, or rolls to go on the side, fresh and hot! Yum!

    • Nia! I’m so happy to see you commented! I totally know where you’re coming from. And YES! Crock pots are amazing. Especially when you’re a busy mom like you :)

      Hope life is treating you well!

  3. We go even more simple…just avocado, a little salt, and some lime juice. Mmmm…. But it does take at least 2 minutes. Difficult, I know… :)

  4. Thank you! The more I learn about buying prepared food the more depressing it is. And in the end, homemade tastes WAY better.

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